FROM TIME

 FROM TIME

"Passive aggressive when we're texting, I feel the distance"

I often find myself wondering where all the back and forth ever got me?  looking back at all the arguments just to prove a simple point.  the answer is blatantly no where.  sometimes the means never really justify the end.  you can never win when someone never really hears what you are saying no matter how right you might be.

"We even talked about you and our couple of moments, he said we should hash it out like a couple of grown ups."

you always have those people that you trust for advice, but what do you do when the advice isn't something you necessarily want to hear?  I have come to find that I will always do what I want regardless.  and that isn't a bad thing.  our hearts are always made up far before our minds will ever be. therein lies the issue.  our hearts define those feelings and emotions that everyone else sees but us.

"Who the fuck wants to be 70 and alone?"

SHORT ANSWER...NO ONE.  BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU FIND THE ONE...AND THEN SHE ISN'T?  YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE SAME POSITION YOU WERE BEFORE.  ALONE.  IN THE GRAND SCHEME I 1) WANT SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, 2) WILL ACCEPT ME FOR ME *WHICH EVERYONE TENDS TO SAY BUT WE KNOW THAT CAN BE BULLSHIT*, & 3) STAND AND FIGHT NO MATTER THE ODDS.  THAT LAST ONE IS A TRICKY ONE.  IT'S EASIER FOR PEOPLE TO JUST WALK AWAY THEN TO JUST STAND PAT.  THESE DAYS YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS.  WHY WOULD YOU?  JUST MAKES FOR A LONELY SOCIETY.

"I search for something I'm missing and disappear when I'm bored"

highly GUITLY OF THIS.  WHEN I LOOK BACK AT MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS.  WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MAYBE 3, I WAS ALWAYS SEARCHING FOR WHAT i THOUGHT i ALWAYS NEEDED.  GUESS WHAT?  i DIDN'T NEED A THING AT ALL.  OR AT LEAST NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING I DID.  AND POOF HE'S GONE.  AND WHEN I DID FIND IT...WELL THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.

"I've always been feeling like she was the piece to complete me"

YES SHE WAS, BUT IN THE END, THE PIECE JUST FELL OUT OF PLACE. AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH DUCK TAPE AND GORILLA GLUE YOU USE...SOMETIMES THEY DON'T FALL IN PLACE AFTER ALL.

"Girl, I felt like we had it all planned out, I guess I fucked up the vision
Learning the true consequences of my selfish decisions"

I SAW IT SO CLEAR.  THAT FUTURE THAT DREAMS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MADE OF!  BUT YOUR MIND SOMETIMES TAKES OVER. AND THE GLASSES COME OFF AND THE VISION IS ALL SKEWED. MISTAKES WERE MADE.  AND ALTHOUGH I RECOGNIZE THE POINT WHERE THE VISION WAS LESS THAN ROSE COLORED, BUT IT DOESN'T HURT ANY LESS.

"When you find out how I'm living, I just hope I'm forgiven"

PERFECTION IS A WORD THAT I WOULD NOT USE TO DESCRIBE ME.  AND I HAVE DONE THINGS IN MY PAST THAT I AM HIGHLY ASHAMED OF.  BUT THERE WAS A TIME, WHEN I GAVE MY ALL.  DESPITE MY PAST TRANGRESSIONS.  AND MY PAST PROVED TOO MUCH.  AND I LIVE WITH THAT.  ITS EYE OPENING TO BE HONEST.  AND TRUTHGULLY REFRESHING.  BECAUSE PAST TRANSGRESSIONS THAT HAD PLAGUED MY PAST NO LONGER REALLY RESTRAIN ME ANY LONGER.  *BREATHE*

~THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF BRIAN SEVIER