Yesterday I was chatting with a female friend of mine, and she was expressing how excited she was to attend a Bowl party on Sunday. When I asked why she was so excited, her reply..." 'cause hot guys will be there." Which means her interest in this sporting event was merely...a sporting one so to speak. In my mind this had disaster written ALL over it. She didn't care who was playing and and after a lengthy debate over whether or not Tim Tebow was playing, she could only name 1 player. Yes...Tom Brady. When I bought this up to a few of my female friends who actually watch the sport, they generally had two responses: Either they were utterly disgusted or they wanted to punch the female who shall remain nameless in the face. SO before the BIG game ladies, here are a few rules to follow while watching. No one wants to be "that girl" who's been banished to Revis Island (The Corner):
1) NEVER walk in front of the TV during game play. If you have to grab another beer or some wings, try to do it with out blocking what could possibly be the play of the game.
2) DO your homework. At a minimum you should know what teams are playing and AT least the quarterbacks of the opposing teams.
3) You're not Alex Trebek, so stop with all the questions...ESPECIALLY if they aren't game related. All questions should be short and after a play is over. There is nothing more annoying than trying to watch a game while someone is going on and on about something no one cares about.
4) PAY ATTENTION. This go hand and hand with #3. You should always be aware of the score and the quarter and who has the ball. If for some reason you don't know..check the screen first.
5) NEVER wear a pink jersey. Unless you are a TRUE fan, not a bandwagon rider, a jersey isn't necessary. And in the event you have a jersey with a players name on it, please know a little something about the player. Tees with logos are always acceptable.
6) NEVER PRETEND to know what's going on. Guys can sense ignorance when it comes to sports. You don't wanna be "that girl" who looks like an idiot because she's trying a little too hard to fit in with the guys. It's OK if you don't understand a penalty or another faction of the game...just choose the right time to ask.
7) No need to ask if someone needs a refill, just get it. If you're sitting next to a hottie and you notice his drink is empty, the perfect way to score brownie points is to simply grab him a new one. He'll definitely remember that after the games over.
8) NEVER say you're rooting for a team because their quarter back is cute or so & so has a nice butt. This is the fastest way to get you looked at as if you have a member on your forehead. Root for whoever you like but at least have a favorite player which shows us you actually have some interest in the game.
9) BE interested. The easiest way to make yourself more attractive to a guy is to seem like you're actually a fan. There's nothing hotter than a woman you can talk sports to. Show us you're not here because you heard there will be cute guys or because your friend didn't wanna go alone, but because you have a vested interest in the game itself.
10) And most importantly...HAVE FUN. Don't be afraid to cheer loudly and talk crap if the situation calls for it. If a guy sees you are having fun and you're comfortable, he's more likely to engage in a conversation with you. Just don't over do it!
IF you follow these simple guidelines, your Super Bowl Sunday should go off without a hitch and lead to a great time! And possibly a date!! So do your homework, go prepared and try not to drink too much!! GO BEARS!!
~~The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Brian Sevier
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